Au revoir paci

We are in the midst (maybe, hopefully, I think) of saying so long to our very special friend the paci (pah-see, my name for it). AKA the ma (Harrison's first name for it, although now he says MY PACI very distinctly). AKA the sucker (Matt's name for it). AKA the mimi (Hannah and the Kopers and now sometimes Harrison's name for it). I would definitely give my child a pacifier had I to do over and will also give future kids a paci if it works for them. But I think if I could do one thing differently, I would say goodbye sooner. My pediatrician's recommendation of 6-9 months was possibly excessive and she has been great in supporting his continued use (albeit with very gentle reminders about palette shaping and teeth problems down the road) but I think we're just done.

Harrison was always kind of indifferent about the paci while I was still nursing. It was a lifesaver on car rides and usually served as an instant sleep aid. But when I stopped nursing at 14 months, the paci definitely became a huger part of our life. At the time, I was totally okay with it serving as a security item. Yes, he received tons of love in addition to a paci but he also had to figure out how best to comfort himself without the ultimate comfort of nursing. So our routine became rocking and cuddling and singing and holding while he had the paci. When he was upset or needed to calm down or needed to go to sleep, that paci was worth its weight in gold - truly. And during the past few months, probably more than ever before, with a lot of back and forth and changes of scenery and people, the paci has done wonders in terms of Harrison's comfort and security.

I love the paci, don't get me wrong. That said, the paci is also just plain causing problems. I don't know if it's because he still connects it to me and nursing or what but these days, when H and I hang out - or worse, when he has been playing paci free (he usually only gets the paci for naps and bedtime) happily for hours and suddenly realizes I am around, he becomes completely distracted and consumed begging for the paci. In the middle of dinner or a bit of food for example. Or as we are walking to get coffee and talking about colors. Or while we are seriously mid run in a game of chase. All. the. time. And then he just plays with it and throws it and loses it and chews it with his back teeth and hides it and begs for it and on and on - you get the picture. Note: I will refrain from associating future orthodontic needs with the paci or diagnosing years of braces since 1. the kid comes from a long line of not great teeth people 2. I am clearly not an orthodontist and 3. really, no good can come of thinking about that aspect.

We are in for a long haul with this whole see-ya-later-paci-plan. This much I know for certain. The story of my cousin Hannah just tossing the thing across the room, never to ask for it again? Not happening here. Or my brother sleeping with a plastic hammer as a replacement for only one night and basically never again asking for his pacifier? Soo not happening here. We talk about which babies we are giving H's paci to. We talk about special stores that let you buy trains if you give them a paci. We talk about what Harrison will put in his mouth when he is sad or mad or tired or wants his paci. He is completely on board - or so it seems. And then I understand why there are 6 year olds walking around with these things in their mouth. It is literally painful to watch him for the all of two minutes I tried to say "maybe we don't need the paci right now, Mom is here, let's hug your special pillow, here's Sophie the Giraffe for your teeth" in the midst of a major needing the paci moment.

I thought we had a breakthrough this weekend when Harrison bit down and chewed and pulled the heck out of our remaining paci - to the point where it is now riddled with holes and missing chunks. He told me it was broken and we needed a new one. I said maybe we should think about giving our broken one to a baby and buying something for a big boy, an idea which he loved...at the time. When push comes to shove, he is just plain not having it and is now sleeping in his bed with a janky, yucked up, chewed up, holey pacifier halfway out of his mouth.

I don't want to cause permanent damage by stripping this kid of something but I don't really think I'm that far off in saying it's time. We're ready. Or am I just ready and putting that burden on him too?

Au revoir (maybe, hopefully, I think) paci.